Worst Jokes Ever
UwU UwU UwU UwU UwU
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Politics.
The last two presidents of the US.
Hi, I'm new here.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.