Worst Jokes Ever
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why is America so bad at playing Jenga?
Because they already lost two towers.
You're so ugly you make Happy Meals cry.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
I don't see why people these days choose their gender. There's only two, it's Nerf or nothing! (I'm just joking, I honestly don't care.)
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?