Worst Jokes Ever
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
I was digging in my garden when I found this chest of gold coins.
I wanted to run inside to tell my wife what I found, but that's when I remembered why I was digging.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
The snack that smiles back: Ball sack.
What do you call a Mexican with an m3?
A greaser.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
Credit to Burn in Hell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5a0jTc9S10
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!