Worst Jokes Ever
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.