Worst Jokes Ever
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!
"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!