Worst Jokes Ever

Why do some couples go to the gym together?

Because they want their relationship to work out.

My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.

Why was the leper hockey game canceled?

It was because of a face-off in the corner.

I usually hang up Halloween decorations,

but this year I'm gonna be the decoration.

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use a honeycomb.

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

I don't want to brag, I finished the puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.

My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."

A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"

"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."

"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"