Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Programming

7 views ·

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Vampire

869 views ·

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

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  • Panda

    3 views ·

    A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.

    The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"

    She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."

    The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."

    Dog

    1 view ·

    What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?

    Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.

    Air

    1 view ·

    What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?

    They both have very little air to breathe.

    Stick

    2 views ·

    What do hockey players and cops have in common?

    They both use sticks to hit something black.

    Racism

    3 views ·

    How many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    None, because they're getting beat for being black.

    Light Bulb

    5 views ·

    How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

    Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.

    Letter

    1 view ·

    What do you get from a co-worker with epilepsy for being accused of harassment? A "seize" and desist letter.

    Black

    4 views ·

    A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.

    At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.

    Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"

    Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.

    The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"

    The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."