Worst Jokes Ever
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
I usually hang up Halloween decorations,
but this year I'm gonna be the decoration.
Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.
Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.
Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
I don't want to brag, I finished the puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"