Worst Jokes Ever

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?

What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in?"

Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.

How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?

QUEUE THE MUSIC

BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.

Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?

A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.

"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.