Worst Jokes Ever
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.