50s jokes

If I get 50 likes on this, I swear. 🦋

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?

It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

Chuck Norris once killed 50 people with a grenade. Then he threw the grenade.

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.

Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.

So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?

American: Self defense.

Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!

9/11

This is so sad, can we hit 50 likes?!

In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?

Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"