Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hey guys, so we have a friend group and we need followers and people! So far it's me and Royal. If you want to join just comment why and you're in unless people have reasons to not want you!
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
I screamed jenga in history class today.. we were watching a documentary on 9/11
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks, dad.
Dad: No problem Quarantine.
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast! Get it Lol
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
A sandwich walks into a bar
Bartender says sorry we don't serve food here
