Waterfowl jokes

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt-quack.

What do you call a white duck?

A quacker.

What did the duck say to the drug dealer?

Gimme some of that quack!

Where do ducks poop out of?

From their buttquack.

Me and my friend were duck hunting.

He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.

Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.

What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?

A Peking duck.

Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.

How do you f**k a duck?

Usually duck a f**k.

Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?

Really?

Well, the one I fucked did.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

What’s the difference between a bird and a human?

“We don’t eat with our peckers.”