Uglies jokes
A man told his love interest she looked beautiful.
And then his love interest told him she had loads of things to tell him.
And after 3 minutes, she told him he looked fat, ugly, disgusting, creepy, and tiny.
Then the police came and arrested her for saying that.
An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman and falls in love with her.
Man: "Hey, cute lady!"
Woman: "Leave me alone, you ugly two-faced man! I already have a boyfriend."
Man: "Not for long!"
And then the man shoots the woman's boyfriend.
Woman: "How dare you murder such a beautiful man!"
Man: "Now you shall be my girlfriend."
Woman: "Never."
And then the man takes the seat that the woman's boyfriend was sitting in before.
Man: "You look like a dream."
Woman: "Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly women? Bleuch!"
Woman: "What's it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men?"
And then the man orders flowers and candy.
Bartender: "We don't serve flowers, or candy."
And the man shoots the bartender.
Another man can't believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man and throws him out.
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
Boy: I'm dead.
Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?
Boy: No, I was just born this way.
Yo mama so fricking ugly, she made humans to extinct.
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.
Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.
Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.
Stop it, Superman is stupid, ugly, and nothing.
God help me, please!
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
Y'all is ugly!
Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.
Yo momma so ugly, her blood type is puss.
Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.