want to know something jason and michael myers had to watch there family while they have to live forever thats why they kill there trying to make people expreience what they did.
a man comes to a bar and has a drink then his bully came to him and Stoll his drink then the bully asked "what wrong" the man said that "I trying to kill myself I try getting hit by a Tran but the train went on the different track then I try to jump of a brig but I fell on a bot full of pillows then I try to Posen myself " then the bully say "then what " then man replied you just dunked it "then the man left.
Is it a bad to hit an orphan? What are they gonna do tell their parents? Well... I mean they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
try not to <3
When ur little brother knocks ur two Jenga towers u made with his toy airplane
You: hey stop trying to recreate the twin towers
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale the scale said I’m trying to get your weight not your phone number
The moment when you throw the nut away ans try to eat the shell.
when i try to call my friend i can't get through because my name is Lin Kon and the operator Keeps saying yes Mr president
how many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression
Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play trash is always in your way. LOL
a friend sits across me at class so i assked if she wants to hang out somtimes she said yes so i called her over to my house and thats the day i found out she was a guy. the morul of the story dont try to fuck your frindes.
ex-bf's gf: your so ugly as hell me: oh did I mention that i was trying to be you
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge. The gf goes - Johnny, why your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
TELL ME YOU DONE THIS WITH OUT YOU TELL ME YOU DONE THIS.!!! so we all know when yall where in school yall would fart but yall would try to make it silent. but for me that one day I farted loud and every one could hear. every one got to blame the annoying kid.
why was the people's wedding so miserable... cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky they agreed to never try to have another wedding
One day i told a kid what 2 x 12 was he said he didn't know i said lets go to my basement and figure it out he is still in my basement trying to do the equation
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church but instead the birds chirp chirp chirp let's go to church
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called 'serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude come on you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied 'why fix what ain't broke?????
