Does Eminem like MnM' s? Cause if he didn't, that would be like 'they're' not like liking 'there'.
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator not a lift" and "it's chips not crisps" etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted "they're schools, not shooting ranges".
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They're both pointless.
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two now they're a sensitive topic.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now 😐
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman
They're both accidents
