Their jokes
Q: Why do women only use their lefts?
A: Because they don't have any rights.
Why can’t orphans tell jokes?
Because their parents can’t *bear* the *jeans* because they don’t have any.
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.
Orphan: Where... Oh.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw them down the stairs and see what noise they make! WA WA WAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tank." "Tank who?" "You're welcome!"
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.