The jokes
What did the Brit say to the American?
Well here comes fascism.
What is the best part of being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family sized.
Donald Trump didn't even finish the wall. He should have hired Mexicans to do it!
The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Old man Jeffrey touches the youth.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
What is a gay person's favorite book?
The dictionary.
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.