The jokes
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.