The jokes
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.
Why do midgets run on balls?
Because the grass tickles them.
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
What does the cent say when it says hello? It waves.
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?
Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
11/9 is opposite day. The towers fall on the planes instead of 9/11, way.