The jokes
The last time I ever made a joke was just now.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.
It would be a miracle if someone figured out the length of your hairline.
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
Fat kid jumps in the pool.
The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."
The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
Me, haha, I'm the joke.
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.