The jokes

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Why can't Asians play baseball?

Because they ate all the bats!

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.

What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?

The drone guy didn't know either.

The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With Caesar!

What did the cow 🐄 watch? moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovies 😂🐄🖥

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?

I am not registered.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

Yo mama so old, she was accepted for the museum.

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

Yo mama so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter O... OBCD.

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!