The jokes
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
Call of Duty kill cam be like.
This is the best kill streak ever!
What is the similarity between math and buildings?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
What jumps higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”