The jokes
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
Why is Donald Duck the president? Because Donald Trump has a duck.
Why did the orphan water his cereal instead of milk?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
How do the Powerpuff Girls vape?
They take a "power puff."
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.
Wow! The jokes on here are so dark they pick my cotton!
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!
Yo mama so dumb, she failed the survey.
Why did 10 have PTSD?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.