The jokes

Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?

Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?

Tourists.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

What war did the black community win?

The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.

I put the fun in dysfunctional.

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.

"What did one wall say to the other?"

"I'll meet you at the corner!"

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

'Cause they only had 4 trucks.

What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?

Downy unstopables.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.

What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?

Party crashers.

Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?

A: They couldn’t go straight.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

They both used to be straight.

What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?

One can feed a family.

Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.

Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?

Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.