The jokes
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
The Middle Ages were called the dark ages because there were too many knights.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Rosa Parks.
Lol.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Have you seen the new movie "Constipated"?
No, it hasn't come out yet.