The jokes

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?

He was scared to get across.

Why is the elephant headed God the true God?

Because he doesn't exist!

I was at the store during a storm one time. I guess you could say it was story.

What is the opposite of salt water?

Pepper water.

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic.

Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

What happened when Obama ran for president?

The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.

What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"

Where did the cake sleep on the stove?

In a pan.

What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...

I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.

You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?

Cross-country.

Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?

Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.