The jokes
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.
The bigger your shoe size is, the bigger your penis is.
The smaller your shoe size, the smaller your penis is.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
Guys, go to https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5b3937c1a328f6072c316bd6/hey-guys-who-wants-to-play-roblox-with-me-we-can-go-om-cool-maps-my-name-is-xx_robloxgamer420_xx-pleeease-lets-play-rol and read the whole thing because I need people to play with, and everyone is being retarded. Thanks guys, goodbye.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Esteban.
Esteban who?
If you do not open the door, Esteban you!