The jokes
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
You are in the airway, how funny!
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What did the house wear to the party? A dress.
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?
Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
God: “Steven, join us.”
Sees the staircase to Heaven.
Steven: “Ahh, fu-”
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
Do you like all the jokes I’ve been “cracking?”
Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*
Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*
Me: Well, shit.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha