The jokes
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stoneās throw away, in fact.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
All Asians look the same.
What's red and sits in the corner?
A baby chewing on a razor blade.
What's green and sits in the corner?
Same baby, one week later.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
Where do alien cows come from?
- The Milky Way.