The jokes
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the “utter” side.
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.