The jokes

What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?

Dark humor never dies!

Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"

Q: What do women and KFC have in common?

A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.

When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

I speak for the trees.

*Trees whisper in my ear*

They said six million wasn't enough.

What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.