The jokes
Hey Max, what's up? The sky.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
The South.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.
Toilet paper cried across the road.
The clock struck one!
Then down did come!
Hickory dickory doc
What am I?
Random- a mouse?
Me- no dumb shit!
Random- what is it?
Me- the guillotine!
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?