The jokes
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
It's hard to predict the future,
especially before it happens.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.
Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.
The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.
The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are through the roof!
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh, for God's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
Everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: "Happy birthday to you..., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear
Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!"
Girls with the name Beoni are white.
Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.