The jokes
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"
Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.
Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
9/11 happened... right?
The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?