The jokes
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 2
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 1
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.
Vote for the better joke.
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
What’s the opposite of poo?
What is a group of depressed kids called? They are called the "Suicide Squad."
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.