The jokes
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"
Why did the rapper take a shower before the concert?
To WASH AWAY the haters!
Why did the rapper become a banker?
Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To master the art of RAP-LETICS!
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
Better Friday the 13th than Monday the 13th.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain finished the races.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
Why did the rapper become a tailor?
Because they wanted to drop some fresh THREADS.