The jokes
Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?
To get his RHYMES in TUNE.
Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?
Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some cash flows.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to drop some TIMELY RHYMES!
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
Why did the rapper carry a notebook everywhere?
To jot down his RAP-SODIES.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
Because he had too many FILL-INS.
What did the DJ say to the VEGETABLE?
"Lettuce turnip the beet!"
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?
To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life on the rhyme side!
Why was the rapper always calm during performances?
Because he had a rap-titude for chillin'!
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You better DROP THE BEAT, or I'll drop YOU!"
Why is 10 scared of 11 and 9? Because he's in the middle of 9/11.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
What is long and the line is black?
The line at KFC.
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"