The jokes
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
Your mum's so fat, she's the iceberg that sunk the Titanic!
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
What did Hitler say to the sheep, "Baaarrrrrrr!" Hahaha, get it, sister? Am I rightttt?
What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?
Ask him to tell a rape joke.
Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"
Little Johnny said, "No, what?"
She answered, "The principal's office."
Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"
The teacher answered, "No, what?"
"You have a d!ck in your mouth!"
Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?
My sister wearing all the world's makeup.
Sister: Just a little.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
Whats the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air. 😅🤣😂
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
What's black, white, and red all over? The interracial abortion.
I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.
The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."
So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."