The jokes
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.
What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?
Nothing, he doesn't have any.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
What did the Teacher say to the orphan?
"I am calling your parents!"
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
What's the difference between you and an orphan?
Nothing.
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...
Wait, where are we again?
My parents are like the Twin Towers, only one came back.
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Mom! Mom! The class called me an orphan.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.