The jokes
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Why is the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.
I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
What did the bunger say to the bunger? Bunger.
What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.
What's the one game emos hate?
Cut the rope.