The jokes
Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!
On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?
I've never sucked on dicks.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.
And they created The Green Party.
Your momma's so fat that she is the Earth!
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.