The jokes
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
Your forehead is so big we could fit the whole alphabet on there.
What did God say to the good shepherd?
Nothing.
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.
The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
The teacher says, "That's right."
The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
"That's right," the teacher says.
The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
All go gansta until the two towers fall down on you.
Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 911.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.
Where's your mom?
In the bin.