Swimming Meet jokes

Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.

A depressing but satisfying victory.

Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?

My friend: Chunky dunks.

"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

"Why not?"

"He keeps peeing in the pool."

"Well, all kids pee in the pool."

"Not from the diving board!"

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.