Substance use jokes
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
I bought drugs today.
What're the only things that never come out of a Chi Phi frat house?
A virgin and unsnorted ketamine.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Sniffing cocaine?
YES SIRRR!
"Just say no to drugs!"
Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
Community talk
hi mal ill try to call u later on the house phoen again im doing school rn and i wont get my phoen today bc im failing for nicotine, but i will have a drug test in the next 2-3 days ilysmmmm and i cant wait until i can see you. MUAHHHHH
i wanna get so high i don't feel anything :D
I am so fucking high right now dude