Stomachache jokes

Why am I still alive?

Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...

Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.

What's the best way to cure the hiccups? Suicide.

A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."