Stigmata jokes

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

They'll fall right through his hands.

Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(

How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(

How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.