Squeak

Squeak jokes

Pane

    • What did the window say to the door?

    "What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

    Get it?

    Marriage

    • Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.

    Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"

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    • Puberty

    • God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.

    Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.

    God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.

    Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!

    God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)

    Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)

    God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!

    God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........

    God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.

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    • Squeak memes

    Sister

    • My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

    In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

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    • Squeak memes

    Community talk

    • Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lucy, who was known for one peculiar thing: she could not stop farting. It wasn’t just an occasional squeak or puff—it was a full-on symphony of noises, each more unpredictable than the last.

    It all started one Saturday morning when Lucy was helping her mother bake cookies. As they mixed the dough, Lucy felt the pressure building. She tried to hold it in, but the more she foc… Read more

    • MR.NIBBLES KEEPS ON HAVING THESE INFETIONS, HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND HOW DANGEROUS THEY ARE, HE WAKES UP IN PAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, I CAN HEAR HIM SQUEAK IN PAIN AND ILL RUN IN AND TURN ON ALL THE LIGHTS, RUN MY HANDS THROUGH HIS SHORT BROWN/WHITE FURRRRRRR I LOVE YOU MR.NIBBLES IDCCCCCCCCCCCCCC <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

    Community