Speedos jokes

What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.

What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.

How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?

There are speedos in the microwave.

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,

Then the speed bump starts screaming.

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.

The cop said, "But there is no traffic."

And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."