Skinner jokes

You know the song "Getting Drunk on a Plane"? It was written by the pilot of the Lingard Skinner pilot.

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.