Shoot-down jokes

Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

*America shoots down balloon*

China: "You killed an innocent man!!"

USA: "What?!"

China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."

During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.

He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

Me: Have you ever went sky diving?

Friend: No.

Me: Well don't, it sucks.

Friend: Why?

Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.

You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.

Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.