Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
I'm bald.
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.
