I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
Do a neck reveal.
Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?
And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
Yo, edgeline go so far back that I can now mow a lawn perfectly.
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.
I'm bald.
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
