Scratchiness jokes

Bear

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

Skin

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

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  • Scar

    Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.

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  • Community

    bro i kid you not- im laughing so hard

    i was eating a tortilla right? then my cat does the littlel scratchy thing were it looks like theyre strechting on something but scrathing it at the same time- if yk yk,

    it scared the shit out of me and i screamed "what the magical fuck"

    ...

    *wheeeeezing*