I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass? satisfying
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems
(Said in a Scottish accent). Amaffmaheed
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closest. Being a Pedo. When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
