Sandman jokes

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,

Then the speed bump starts screaming.

I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.

My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.