Pity jokes
I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
Memes
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
Memes
Community
Ladies and gentlemen of the forest, let us take a moment to reflect on the astounding uselessness of this creature we call 'the bear.' What does it truly contribute, besides noise, mud tracks, and an endless appetite for honey? It claims strength, yet spends half its life asleep. It claims dominance, yet the most impressive thing it can do is knock over a picnic basket and pretend that’s a skill.
This so-called 'kin… Read more
This is going to be a mouthful, but I suggest you read it all. Posting as anonymous, but yeah, it's Amy. A lot wrong has happened on this site, like a LOT. And for me, this involved the insults & constant wars & whatnot. After it was all over, I think I started building myself off my hatred of you all. I started becoming my hatred ina way. Not a day went by that I didn't remember the hurt I felt. Also, somewhere alon… Read more
The True Dagger
It was a chilling night on the Worst Jokes Ever (WJE) forum, where Dagger, the elderly and enigmatic moderator, had caused an atmosphere of fear and unease among the users. Despite his charm and elegant demeanor, Dagger's actions were extremely harsh and brutal towards anyone who crossed his path. His ruthless rampage on the site had left members scarred, traumatized, and yearning for justice. In a d… Read more