Parker jokes

Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?

Because her neck was killing her.

How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?

Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.

Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.

Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.

Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.

What is stronger than family?

The tree Paul Walker hit.

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.