Parker jokes

Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?

Because her neck was killing her.

How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?

Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.

Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.

Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.

Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

What is stronger than family?

The tree Paul Walker hit.

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."

Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.