I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
Off Jokes
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.
John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Is laughing a problem?
Laughing at what?
I want to jump.
Jump—what?
Jump off the hook.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
