No jokes
I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."
My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."
Get it? I read? No... ok.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
Ku cina Na xidludla swifana no push refrigerator. 😂😂
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
What do you call a five year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.